ADHD: The Struggle Pt. 2

Almost 3 years ago, my son was diagnosed with ADHD. As he was going through the process of being diagnosed, we worked with doctors, school counselors and administrators to and answer a series of questions, related to his behaviors. 

As we went through the process, I realized that many of the behaviors he exhibited were my behaviors as well. From this realization, I decided that I, too, needed to be evaluated, and so I also went through the process and discovered that I was also ADHD.

Many people do not believe that ADHD is real, but I am here to tell you that it certainly is. As a young child, I was a "good student" academically, but my citizenship and conduct was never in-line.

I specifically recall wanting to be a safety patrol when I was in the 5th grade. In order to become a patrol, you had to have all A's and at least an "S" (for Satisfactory) in citizenship and conduct. I worked hard, the first grading period, in order to attain all A's, but I got an "N" (Needs Improvement), instead. My heart was broken. I felt discouraged, and gave up. I never again earned all A's and decided that I just couldn't do it.

It's very frustrating because, as an adult, many of the "issues" I had as a child carried on into my adult life. Every job I have had, it seemed as though I had an iconoclastic personality. It wasn't that. I don't have a problem with authority. 

ADHD causes one to question things that seem to not be "right". It's sort of like having OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Any time that I notice a "mistake", it has to be "fixed" or pointed out, and if it isn't, it drives me nuts. I hate feeling like that. I truly wish that I can see or hear things that are not "right" and keep going about my business but I find it difficult to do so. 

Whatever comes up in our minds, it seems that it HAS to come out. This often leads to offending and/or hurting others' feelings. We don't mean to. We just "call it how we see it". Some people love us for it and others despise us because we seems to always be "running our mouths", recklessly.

I was prescribed Adderall almost 3 years ago, and it has helped me immensely, however, there was a lapse in my medical coverage earlier this year, and I have not been taking my meds regularly. I definitely feel a difference. My thoughts are erratic. I'm impulsive with my actions and words and I find it more easy to become depressed. It sucks.

Many do not consider ADHD as a mental disorder, but it is. I hate not being able to focus and when the plights of depression arise, I find it difficult to become and stay motivated. 

I'm sharing all of this information because we often see people with physical disabilities and can sympathize with them, almost instantly, but when a person has a mental disability, it's less apparent.

We're called "crazy", we're not. We need support and encouragement, just like anyone else. I love the positive and productive person that I am when I am taking my medication. I feel "safe" and my thoughts are more clear. I would love to find an alternative treatment, but I haven't yet.

Practicing yoga and meditating have helped, but without my meds, I find it difficult to even do that. I hope and pray that what I need is given to me, so that I can get back on track and be the person that I was becoming. 

I like her. 

Don't Worry; Be Happy

Many of us, women, especially, sacrifice so much of ourselves, in order to make others happy. Our intentions are good, but the outcomes may not be so good. You see, sometimes, in order to make someone else happy, we sacrifice a part of ourselves. There is nothing wrong with sacrificing, sometimes, but you have to learn when to say "when". You also have to come to the realization that you cannot make another person happy.

There is a difference between sacrifice and compromise. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines sacrifice as "the act of giving up something that you want to keep, especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone". Compromise is defined as "a way of reaching agreement in which each person or group gives up something that was wanted in order to end an argument or dispute".  

According to these definitions,  in order for you to sacrifice, you have to give up something for someone or something else. You should not have to give up anything, if it means that you are less happy, as a result. 

Compromising is different. It means "meeting in the middle", so that there is no need for sacrifice. 

I often hear people say that they just want to be "happy", or that they just want to make so-and-so happy. Here is the issue with that: First, what does it mean for you to be "happy"? Take some time to yourself and figure it out. For me, happiness means to be at peace and free of stress. Once you have defined what happiness means to you, figure out how to attain it. 

In my case, I have to ask myself what would give me peace and make me feel free of stress. A peaceful, stress-free life consists of a mind that is free from worry. I have learned that everything that has happened in the past is just that--- the past, and there is nothing that I or anyone else can do to change it. Knowing this, I have to accept what has been and allow myself to let it go. 

It doesn't matter what it is that you are going through, the same philosophy can apply to you, or anyone else. Once you find your happiness, you will begin to attract others who are also happy. The more people with whom you associate who are at that level, the higher your "happiness quotient" becomes. You will soon find yourself in a more peaceful state and garner strength to press on.

There is nothing in this world that can stop you from attaining your "happy place", except for yourself. You have the power to do anything that you want to do, regardless of yours and others' doubts that you can't, so prove yourself wrong and rise up to where you belong. YOU CAN DO IT!