ADHD: The Struggle Pt. 2

Almost 3 years ago, my son was diagnosed with ADHD. As he was going through the process of being diagnosed, we worked with doctors, school counselors and administrators to and answer a series of questions, related to his behaviors. 

As we went through the process, I realized that many of the behaviors he exhibited were my behaviors as well. From this realization, I decided that I, too, needed to be evaluated, and so I also went through the process and discovered that I was also ADHD.

Many people do not believe that ADHD is real, but I am here to tell you that it certainly is. As a young child, I was a "good student" academically, but my citizenship and conduct was never in-line.

I specifically recall wanting to be a safety patrol when I was in the 5th grade. In order to become a patrol, you had to have all A's and at least an "S" (for Satisfactory) in citizenship and conduct. I worked hard, the first grading period, in order to attain all A's, but I got an "N" (Needs Improvement), instead. My heart was broken. I felt discouraged, and gave up. I never again earned all A's and decided that I just couldn't do it.

It's very frustrating because, as an adult, many of the "issues" I had as a child carried on into my adult life. Every job I have had, it seemed as though I had an iconoclastic personality. It wasn't that. I don't have a problem with authority. 

ADHD causes one to question things that seem to not be "right". It's sort of like having OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Any time that I notice a "mistake", it has to be "fixed" or pointed out, and if it isn't, it drives me nuts. I hate feeling like that. I truly wish that I can see or hear things that are not "right" and keep going about my business but I find it difficult to do so. 

Whatever comes up in our minds, it seems that it HAS to come out. This often leads to offending and/or hurting others' feelings. We don't mean to. We just "call it how we see it". Some people love us for it and others despise us because we seems to always be "running our mouths", recklessly.

I was prescribed Adderall almost 3 years ago, and it has helped me immensely, however, there was a lapse in my medical coverage earlier this year, and I have not been taking my meds regularly. I definitely feel a difference. My thoughts are erratic. I'm impulsive with my actions and words and I find it more easy to become depressed. It sucks.

Many do not consider ADHD as a mental disorder, but it is. I hate not being able to focus and when the plights of depression arise, I find it difficult to become and stay motivated. 

I'm sharing all of this information because we often see people with physical disabilities and can sympathize with them, almost instantly, but when a person has a mental disability, it's less apparent.

We're called "crazy", we're not. We need support and encouragement, just like anyone else. I love the positive and productive person that I am when I am taking my medication. I feel "safe" and my thoughts are more clear. I would love to find an alternative treatment, but I haven't yet.

Practicing yoga and meditating have helped, but without my meds, I find it difficult to even do that. I hope and pray that what I need is given to me, so that I can get back on track and be the person that I was becoming. 

I like her. 

Ride or die, Chick!

I get so tired of hearing people say things like, "A real woman will stick by her man, no matter what." "No matter what?" WTH does that mean? When I see it most of the time, it's in reference to a man who doesn't deserve the supportive, strong woman who is in his life. It's an excuse to squeeze the life out of her until she takes her last breath (of tolerance).  Don't get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with being a supportive mate, but there is a time and place for everything, right? 

Women: If you have a boyfriend/man/husband who, at one time was "handling his business"-- i.e. working FULL TIME, has reliable transportation, his own place, pays his bills and takes care of his children (if he has any) financially, physically and emotionally-- and he lost his job due to no fault of his own-- say layoffs or injury-- I can understand you encouraging  (not supporting)  him so that he gets himself back to a better place in life so that he can "handle his business". On the other hand, if you meet a man and he is not "handling his business" in ALL the aforementioned areas, or someone who has a "main chick" (read: NOT you), it's advisable not to even "go there" with him. You will save yourself lots of time, money, depression, stress and, in some cases, collect phone calls from jail. The quote, "I can do bad by myself", is true. Think about it: You are working hard every day, coming home, cooking dinner and taking care of your children's needs, just trying to get some quiet time to yourself, even if it means it's not until 10 or 11 o'clock at night. Okay; I know what some of you are thinking: "My man has dinner ready when I get home and he helps with the kids... blah, blah, blah." Good for you. 

You DEFINITELY shouldn't allow yourself to be "The Side Chick". It's one thing for a man to be dating more than one woman at a time, but if one or more of the women in his life is his wife, girl/girlfriend/woman/fiance/"babymama" or has some sort of title, like "Wifey", "Boo" or "Baby", it's best not to even "go there with him". ESPECIALLY if he lives with her.  

Living life is not easy nowadays, and everyone should pull his or her own weight for the benefit of his or her own emotional health. When a relationship is severely one-sided, the person in the relationship who is contributing the least is made to feel insufficient. You've seen it many times, and may have even been a participant in an argument in reference to such subject: "IDGAF! GTFO of my house! Gimme my damn keys! Get our sh*t and go! I don't need your a$$!", etc... When you pull your own weight, you still have your dignity, should the relationship come to an end. 

Don't allow yourself to get in that situation, because sometimes you fall so hard you can't get back up and who wants to spend the rest of her life, trying to fix something that shouldn't have been broken to begin with? You could be doing so many more positive and progressive things with yourself instead of wasting time with someone who stifles you. 

There is nothing wrong with being a "Ride or Die Chick"... Just don't die, trying to "ride", Chick! You feel me?