Almost 3 years ago, my son was diagnosed with ADHD. As he was going through the process of being diagnosed, we worked with doctors, school counselors and administrators to and answer a series of questions, related to his behaviors.
As we went through the process, I realized that many of the behaviors he exhibited were my behaviors as well. From this realization, I decided that I, too, needed to be evaluated, and so I also went through the process and discovered that I was also ADHD.
Many people do not believe that ADHD is real, but I am here to tell you that it certainly is. As a young child, I was a "good student" academically, but my citizenship and conduct was never in-line.
I specifically recall wanting to be a safety patrol when I was in the 5th grade. In order to become a patrol, you had to have all A's and at least an "S" (for Satisfactory) in citizenship and conduct. I worked hard, the first grading period, in order to attain all A's, but I got an "N" (Needs Improvement), instead. My heart was broken. I felt discouraged, and gave up. I never again earned all A's and decided that I just couldn't do it.
It's very frustrating because, as an adult, many of the "issues" I had as a child carried on into my adult life. Every job I have had, it seemed as though I had an iconoclastic personality. It wasn't that. I don't have a problem with authority.
ADHD causes one to question things that seem to not be "right". It's sort of like having OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Any time that I notice a "mistake", it has to be "fixed" or pointed out, and if it isn't, it drives me nuts. I hate feeling like that. I truly wish that I can see or hear things that are not "right" and keep going about my business but I find it difficult to do so.
Whatever comes up in our minds, it seems that it HAS to come out. This often leads to offending and/or hurting others' feelings. We don't mean to. We just "call it how we see it". Some people love us for it and others despise us because we seems to always be "running our mouths", recklessly.
I was prescribed Adderall almost 3 years ago, and it has helped me immensely, however, there was a lapse in my medical coverage earlier this year, and I have not been taking my meds regularly. I definitely feel a difference. My thoughts are erratic. I'm impulsive with my actions and words and I find it more easy to become depressed. It sucks.
Many do not consider ADHD as a mental disorder, but it is. I hate not being able to focus and when the plights of depression arise, I find it difficult to become and stay motivated.
I'm sharing all of this information because we often see people with physical disabilities and can sympathize with them, almost instantly, but when a person has a mental disability, it's less apparent.
We're called "crazy", we're not. We need support and encouragement, just like anyone else. I love the positive and productive person that I am when I am taking my medication. I feel "safe" and my thoughts are more clear. I would love to find an alternative treatment, but I haven't yet.
Practicing yoga and meditating have helped, but without my meds, I find it difficult to even do that. I hope and pray that what I need is given to me, so that I can get back on track and be the person that I was becoming.
I like her.
