Oh, Christmas Pee!

Okay. I admit it. If it weren't for my children, probably would not have decorated for Christmas.

I mean, it's such a hassle--- buying a real tree or assembling my artificial one that I've had for 14 years, untangling strings of lights, determining if I want to buy new ornaments or use the ones that I already have, etc...

First of all, let me clarify that I am not a "Scrooge". I stopped taking my Adderall about a month ago, at my doctor's direction, because he felt that I was depressed, so he switched my medication. This was bittersweet. I mean, I definitely feel that my mood has "enhanced", but I just can't seem to "get going" when I need to do ANYTHING. I don't wanna sound like it's a crutch, but when I have my Adderall, I feel like a damn superhero; I can do anything... and I DO.

It's like night and day. Without it, I am not motivated, I see things that need to be done, make a note in my mind to do them and then... they don't get done. I hate it. I don't know why the hell it's like that, but it is. 

My living room was a mess for 2 weeks straight because I had gotten sick and was camped out on the couch in the living room until today. Smh. Pillows, my electric blanket, socks, shoes, bras... Everything was strewn upon "my territory". And, although it irked me to see such a mess, and I knew it should be tidied up, nothing could push me to do what I knew I needed to do. Clean the EFF up! Ugh.

Anyway, I feel the difference and I know why it exists. ADHD is NOT a made-up ailment/disability---whatever. It's as real as the air we breathe. Many have suggested that I try natural methods to "cure" it, but it, but those things have not worked for me. I NEED MY ADDERALL!!! 

I eat well. My produce is mostly fresh and sometimes frozen. I season with fresh ground pepper, sea salt and other fresh herbs. The only things I buy in a box are pasta and cereal. I just don't get it. 

Anyway, the tree is up. I even put the wreath on the door. My daughter is 5, so I suspect that I will be doing this for at least another 12 years (she graduates from high school when she is 17). 

Okay. Enough rambling for now! My birthday is in 3 days... I'll be 38. Wow. I remember when my parents were 38. I thought that was old! 

Merry Christmas!  

Happy Hanukkah!

Happy Kwanzaa!

Happy Holidays!

ADHD: The Struggle Pt. 2

Almost 3 years ago, my son was diagnosed with ADHD. As he was going through the process of being diagnosed, we worked with doctors, school counselors and administrators to and answer a series of questions, related to his behaviors. 

As we went through the process, I realized that many of the behaviors he exhibited were my behaviors as well. From this realization, I decided that I, too, needed to be evaluated, and so I also went through the process and discovered that I was also ADHD.

Many people do not believe that ADHD is real, but I am here to tell you that it certainly is. As a young child, I was a "good student" academically, but my citizenship and conduct was never in-line.

I specifically recall wanting to be a safety patrol when I was in the 5th grade. In order to become a patrol, you had to have all A's and at least an "S" (for Satisfactory) in citizenship and conduct. I worked hard, the first grading period, in order to attain all A's, but I got an "N" (Needs Improvement), instead. My heart was broken. I felt discouraged, and gave up. I never again earned all A's and decided that I just couldn't do it.

It's very frustrating because, as an adult, many of the "issues" I had as a child carried on into my adult life. Every job I have had, it seemed as though I had an iconoclastic personality. It wasn't that. I don't have a problem with authority. 

ADHD causes one to question things that seem to not be "right". It's sort of like having OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Any time that I notice a "mistake", it has to be "fixed" or pointed out, and if it isn't, it drives me nuts. I hate feeling like that. I truly wish that I can see or hear things that are not "right" and keep going about my business but I find it difficult to do so. 

Whatever comes up in our minds, it seems that it HAS to come out. This often leads to offending and/or hurting others' feelings. We don't mean to. We just "call it how we see it". Some people love us for it and others despise us because we seems to always be "running our mouths", recklessly.

I was prescribed Adderall almost 3 years ago, and it has helped me immensely, however, there was a lapse in my medical coverage earlier this year, and I have not been taking my meds regularly. I definitely feel a difference. My thoughts are erratic. I'm impulsive with my actions and words and I find it more easy to become depressed. It sucks.

Many do not consider ADHD as a mental disorder, but it is. I hate not being able to focus and when the plights of depression arise, I find it difficult to become and stay motivated. 

I'm sharing all of this information because we often see people with physical disabilities and can sympathize with them, almost instantly, but when a person has a mental disability, it's less apparent.

We're called "crazy", we're not. We need support and encouragement, just like anyone else. I love the positive and productive person that I am when I am taking my medication. I feel "safe" and my thoughts are more clear. I would love to find an alternative treatment, but I haven't yet.

Practicing yoga and meditating have helped, but without my meds, I find it difficult to even do that. I hope and pray that what I need is given to me, so that I can get back on track and be the person that I was becoming. 

I like her. 

Don't Worry; Be Happy

Many of us, women, especially, sacrifice so much of ourselves, in order to make others happy. Our intentions are good, but the outcomes may not be so good. You see, sometimes, in order to make someone else happy, we sacrifice a part of ourselves. There is nothing wrong with sacrificing, sometimes, but you have to learn when to say "when". You also have to come to the realization that you cannot make another person happy.

There is a difference between sacrifice and compromise. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines sacrifice as "the act of giving up something that you want to keep, especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone". Compromise is defined as "a way of reaching agreement in which each person or group gives up something that was wanted in order to end an argument or dispute".  

According to these definitions,  in order for you to sacrifice, you have to give up something for someone or something else. You should not have to give up anything, if it means that you are less happy, as a result. 

Compromising is different. It means "meeting in the middle", so that there is no need for sacrifice. 

I often hear people say that they just want to be "happy", or that they just want to make so-and-so happy. Here is the issue with that: First, what does it mean for you to be "happy"? Take some time to yourself and figure it out. For me, happiness means to be at peace and free of stress. Once you have defined what happiness means to you, figure out how to attain it. 

In my case, I have to ask myself what would give me peace and make me feel free of stress. A peaceful, stress-free life consists of a mind that is free from worry. I have learned that everything that has happened in the past is just that--- the past, and there is nothing that I or anyone else can do to change it. Knowing this, I have to accept what has been and allow myself to let it go. 

It doesn't matter what it is that you are going through, the same philosophy can apply to you, or anyone else. Once you find your happiness, you will begin to attract others who are also happy. The more people with whom you associate who are at that level, the higher your "happiness quotient" becomes. You will soon find yourself in a more peaceful state and garner strength to press on.

There is nothing in this world that can stop you from attaining your "happy place", except for yourself. You have the power to do anything that you want to do, regardless of yours and others' doubts that you can't, so prove yourself wrong and rise up to where you belong. YOU CAN DO IT!

Be Yourself, Fearlessly

I've always respected those who "keep it real". There is something about a person's ability to say how "it is" and speak the truth, even if it means sacrificing oneself to the ridicule and judgment of others.

The ability to be oneself at all times times tremendous strength. It builds character and resilience. When you are able to take constructive criticism from others, accept your "failures" and laugh at yourself, it strengthens you even more.

Some of us are born strong and resilient. Others become stronger and resilient, due to their life's experiences.

In order to become stronger and resilient, one must first become open. Learn to look at yourself objectively and to accept what "is", without feeling regret for what isn't or wasn't. Laugh at yourself. View your "mistakes" as learning opportunities. For every negative, there is a positive. The past is the past and there is absolutely nothing that you can do to change it.

Realize, accept and appreciate all of your experiences for what they are/were.

There is only one "you", so embrace yourself with pride, joy and acceptance. Be less concerned with others' opinions of you and focus more on the version of yourself of who you would like to become.

It's all in your mindset. If you envision it, it can happen, but you have to believe, wholeheartedly, in your vision.  Trust yourself and the choices that you make. Stand up for what you believe in and be an advocate for others who are doing the same. By doing so, you increase the energy that flows towards you becoming your true self.

When you believe in yourself, you increase self-trust and, with that, you become more sure of your true self.

Always be true to yourself, others may not agree, but, if you are consistent, they will at least respect you.


GYPSY!

Keeping it Real [Single]: Investing Your Time & Energy Instead of Wasting It

Valentine's Day was almost 2 weeks ago, and the very thought of the "holiday" activates my gag reflex. I'm a rule-follower, but I hate rules... Not all rules; just stupid ones.

Whoever decided to commercialize Valentine's Day (and Christmas, for that matter) should be duct taped to a park bench in the middle of spring for all of the seagulls to poop on him or her. 

I can bet that some of you are reading this and have already labeled me as a "hater", and I'm fine with that. 

...at least I'm not a "sell-out".

I don't believe in "faking the funk". Anyone who knows me can attest that I am pretty straight-forward with my opinion. I've been told that I'm too honest; brutally honest and, in the past, I have even been called mean and/or lacking tact. 

One thing that I don't recall ever being labeled as is "a liar". 

If you ask me something, I'm going to tell you the truth. I don't sugarcoat things (that's extra, and "ain't nobody got time for that"). I operate like this with everything and that includes romantic interests.

When I tell my dating stories to some of my friends, they sometimes interrupt and jokingly ask, "Wait. Who are we talking about this week?" Without missing a beat or taking offense, I explain just "who we are talking about" and I continue my story.  

***Note: I do not sit at home and cry over anyone,  nor am I waiting for someone to call me and/or ask me out.*** 

Now, back to the Valentine's Day shenanigans... There were quite a bit of heavy hearts on Valentine's Day, which is quite an oxymoron, seeing that this "holiday" is supposed to celebrate and promote love. 


There were people--- men and women---  who were quite desperate to have a Valentine, so that they would not be lonely on Valentine's Day. The thing is, if these people learned to love themselves, the urgency to have a Valentine would be obsolete. 

There is a difference between being "lonely" and being "alone". 

I was alone on Valentine's Day, and I was fine with it. In fact, I forgot, several times that day, that it was even Valentine's Day. 

Meanwhile, at the Bat Cave, people in pseudo-relationships and/or relationships that are pretty much irreparable were busy on that day (and, for some people, over the whole weekend), spending money and wasting time on dead-end relationships. 

I don't get it. Why would you do that? 

It's like walking past your fishbowl for several weeks, months or years and seeing the goldfish, belly-up in the bowl, yet you go to the bowl every day (or almost every day) and sprinkle fish food in the bowl. 

REALLY???

I think that I have rambled enough. You get the point, don't you? Let me break it down for you... I don't do anything that I do not want to do, and that includes staying in a dead-end relationship. How do you know if you're in a dead-end relationship? You just do. Your gut tells you that (duh), but you choose to ignore it and that's all fine and dandy. When the relationship falls like a playing card tower that was made from Dollar Tree playing cards, just "keep it real" and admit that "something" (read: your gut) told you to let go a long time ago. 

If you are not happy, the other person probably isn't, either. It's just that society (and, sometimes, friends and family) puts so much pressure on us to "work it out". Um... No. Some things just aren't meant to be "worked out". Don't waste your time, trying to work it out. Walk out, instead. Chances are, the other person will thank you for taking that step, because he/she was not strong enough to do it. He or she may not be so grateful, initially, but, later on in life, when he/she has had an opportunity to heal and evolve, he/she actually thank you. 

Come on; it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure this out, people. Just GYPSY!!! #ProblemSolved