It's been a long time coming. I have so much to say, but it's pinned up in me like a person with bubble guts who's 20 minutes away from home and is repulsed by the thought of using a public restroom. Grab your baby wipes; I'm about to let go...

I'm "friends" with this matchmaker on FB, who writes columns for Essence.com a few times a week. Anyway, I saw where he had posted a link to one of his articles and I soon found myself opening up 8 other tabs of his articles to view. He had some good articles about where not to go for a first date, how to determine if you are ready to marry, etc. Don't get me wrong; I was enlightened by a few of the articles, but in the back of my mind, I was just pissed the hell off. I was pissed because, at 35, I am still unmarried. I mean, I have two children out of wedlock (But who the hell doesn't?) but I have never been married. And it's okay. I have definitely had the opportunity to be (unhappily) married.

Understand that I was not pissed because I'm unmarried; I was pissed because there is so much emphasis on being married by a certain age. The way I see it, I'm lucky. Sh*t, since I graduated from high school 17 years ago, I have been in 5 weddings and attended 4 others as a guest, and you know what? All but 2 of those couples are divorced.

Now, see, the reason I feel the emphasis is unnecessary is because it doesn't matter if you had your children while married, then you got divorced or if you were a heathen-- like myself-- and had them out of wedlock... When you are in the mall, shopping (or trying to shop) and hollering at your children to "put that down" or "leave that alone", no one sees that you were once a wife AND mother; all they see is that you are a mother.

Even  married women complain about how, even though they are married, their husbands do not help out much and that they "may as well be" single moms themselves.  Let me tell you "May-As-Well-Have-Beens" something: No Matter How Much Your Husband "Doesn't Help", His Ass Is Helping You More Than My Non-Existent Husband", so shut the hell up! Sorry; I had to say that.

Anyway, my point is that I may be 35 and never have been married, but I'm fine with that. I would much rather be never married than be divorced or in a screwed up marriage. Hell to the no!