In the past, I have also shared that I have been a victim on multiple occasions. As I read and listened to other people's stories, one thing perplexed me: Many of the violators do not even realize that they are even violating.
Wait. Don't get upset with me; I'm not, IN ANY WAY, excusing their behavior.
Let me clarify. Outside of the more well-known violations of rape and obvious, unwanted sexual advances, there is another type of sexual violation that is hardly spoken of. It's called sexual coercion. Sexual coercion is when a person is pressured, tricked or emotionally forced into having sex. This includes "sweet talking", use of alcohol or drugs in order to lower one's inhibitions, or flat-out guilt-tripping someone into having sex.
Most of us are familiar with many of these methods of sexual coercion, but are unaware that there is an actual term associated with the actions. The one method that is hardly considered/included is emotional force.
What is emotional force, you ask? It's the use of words in order to get someone to do what you want him/her to do. For example, when your partner says things like:
"If you really loved me...""I'm gonna have blue balls...""Look what you did to me. You've gotta do something about this.""I take care of you...""You're my wife/husband/boyfriend/etc. Where else am I supposed to get it?"
You don't owe your body to ANYONE. It's yours, and you can share it with whomever you choose. And, guess what else? You can change your mind AT ANY TIME, and that other person should respect your wishes and stop immediately.
You don't have to do anything that you do not want to do, and if the other person disagrees and refuses to stop, he/she is a rapist and should be reported.
Remember: Your voice is your power.
Be heard!
